We’re approaching a new year and many of us are thinking about goals for the new year. This typically centers on what we want to attain or make happen. But what about what we need to release? I was watching Joel Osteen (I know, many don’t care for him but I like to consider the message over the man…), and he was talking about scars. Not only physical scars that we may have but emotional scars from disappointments, traumas toxic relationships and other difficult experiences. A new year is a perfect time to decide to let go of hurtful memories and wounds and move forward.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I started a new role, yet again. But this time I believe I’m on the right path doing the work I was intended to do. But even though I know that, it’s still difficult to trust it will work out. I find myself having feelings of insecurity that this too will be another dysfunctional environment where I’m clinging to the shreds of my sanity. But I haven’t seen any red flags. And trust me, my eyes have been peeled. The other part of my experience is that I believe I’m experiencing another shift that’s taken me to a higher level of my consciousness and experiences where it finally feels like things are in alignment.

Life is going well-not perfect, but I’m experiencing a flow of things I’ve never really had before. Is it difficult to trust it? Absolutely. But is letting go of my past disappointments, traumas and painful experience and memories a critical component of continuing to build on my new found contentment? Absolutely. Some things I’ll never go over, but I can get past them.

We’ve all had bad things happen. And some of us have held onto that hurt for too long. Some of us don’t know how to let them go. But part of the healing process is learning how to try. A top thought to keep in mind is that you deserve happiness, and you do have to fight for it. And black people usually have to fight really hard. So put your dukes up and fight the urge to hold onto your scars. Let’s accelerate our healing and start releasing memories, emotions, mistakes and crap that just didn’t work out. This is hard work, and very hard work for people with anxiety who suffer with constant ruminating. I’m in the midst of it and i’s one of the hardest pieces of emotional work I’ve ever done. But I want to be lighter in my spirit and not as weighed down by my past.

As we’re looking ahead to a new year, let’s remember that we get to decide how we want to feel instead of our memories and hurts dictating our emotions. Let’s begin to jettison at least some of the pain, insecurity, doubt, missteps, self-blaming and other toxic emotions that weigh us down and keep us stagnant. Give yourself permission to welcome a new year feeling lighter. As we begin thinking about how we want the next year to look, let’s take stock of what we can possibly leave behind.

Post Author: Wendy Todd

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