To close out Women’s History Month, I wanted to revisit a tribute to my grandmother…
My grandmother, who was the last surving sibling of ten children, passed away years ago at 93 years old. Her name was Augustine, but everyone called her Augie. She was known for being an elegant woman of style, sophistication, spirit and strength. And though she was only 5′ 2″, her heart and compassion were immeasurable.
Over her last decade my grandmother grappled with Alzheimer’s, though she still recognized loved ones, and kept her fiery personality until the very end.
I remember my grandmother’s style, and how she meticulously presented herself to the world. I remember sitting on her bed watching her at her vanity putting on makeup-one stroke at a time. My mother and I joked that it took forever! But she always looked impeccable. She topped it off with her signature scent, Patchouli. As my cousin said, “You always knew Augie had been there, or was on her way.” I attribute my love of fragrance and beauty products to my grandmother, who always put her best foot forward. I also remember her sense of humor.
One time when I was very little, I played a trick on my grandmother. I think I was about four or five. She used to wake me up in the morning and I had an African American version of a Raggedy Ann doll that was about three feet tall. (I still have it.) My grandmother’s room and mine were connected. You could get from one room to the other through the closet.
I decided to put the doll in the bed and pulled the covers over it. Then I snuck into my grandmother’s room through the closet, just as she came into my room to wake me up. From my grandmother’s room I could hear her scream in horror as she discovered a doll that was supposed to be me! I was in her room cracking up! She ran in and said, “You tricked me!” and proceeded to laugh right along with me. I thought she’d be mad but she thought it was funny and clever.
Grandmother and I had a lot of fun. We’d play games–for some reason I loved Old Maid. Another thing I loved about my grandmother was her ability to make people feel welcomed.
Whenever my mother and I would visit, my grandmother always had food prepared and fresh linens ready for us. She always greeted us with big hugs and made sure we were comfortable and taken care of. My grandmother was a fabulous host. Looking back, I realize she didn’t have a lot, but it always felt like she did. I feel my grandmother helped me appreciate simple elegance.
She taught me that you don’t need a lot to have a beautiful home and make people feel special. You just need a lot of love and a little flare doesn’t hurt. She could make an apartment feel like a palace.
I also remember my grandmother’s giving nature.
My grandmother volunteered with a number of organizations, including Easter Seals, where she served as a foster grandparent, mentoring youth. I’m very proud that the legacy of service runs in my family. I too have been volunteering here and there for over a decade and find it rewarding.
What I think resonates with me most about my grandmother is her strength.
After my grandfather, who I never met, passed away, my grandmother was left to find her own way and a path for her three children. She started working and made sure they all went to college. My grandmother even wound up taking classes at the local university herself. She also traveled and carved out her own independence at a time where that was even more difficult for Black women.
She lived life on her own terms, not asking for anyone’s permission. I love that. In a society where so many people, particularly women of color, have been made to feel they need to meet others’ expectations, my grandmother did not. She lived from a place of personal freedom, a quality I feel I have developed too.
I love my grandmother dearly. I’m very grateful I had her for so long, and that we did things like write each other letters while I was in college.
It was a blessing to be with her as she transitioned from body to spirit. We are all blessed for having had such an extraordinary woman in our lives. Augie lives on in the hearts of those who knew and loved her.
My grandmother was the one who introduced me to the understanding that there is a higher power, and forces beyond our comprehension influence and guide our lives. I know she was right. As I was proofing this original tribute, a woman walked by wearing Patchouli. I know that was my grandmother telling me she’s still with me and my family.
My grandmother’s service was graveside on a gorgeous, sunny November day. It was as if God reserved a day of spectacular weather just for her. At the service there were ladybugs all over. My mother told me they were good luck. I looked up the symbolism of ladybugs, and found they also represent good fortune and protection. I know my grandmother is watching over and protecting us.
You are loved, dearest Grandmother.
Who are some women in your family who have made a mark in your personal history book?
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